Do You Laugh at Your Owm Jokes Me Im Funny Af Me
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Knock, knock. Who's there? Adore. Adore who? Adore you, mommy!
Motherhood is hard. Sure, it is one of the most rewarding positions we moms will ever have, but sometimes we just have to laugh so that we don't cry. And as it just so happens, there are plenty of jokes and puns that are sure to make any mom smile!
In honor of Mother's Day, we have rounded up a collection of 120 mom jokes that are sure to put a smile on your mother's face. This list has you covered with kid-friendly knock, knock jokes, clever one-liners, tongue-in-cheek mom puns, and silly Q&A jokes that any mom will love. (Like these mom memes—they're funny because they're true!).
Take a gander at our list of 120 jokes about mom and pick out your favorite wisecracks to share with mom over brunch. There are plenty of jokes that the kids will be able to include in a hand-made Mother's Day card and even some hilarious quips that would be perfect to use as a Mother's Day Instagram caption for a family photo in honor of Mom on her special day.
120 Funny Mom Jokes
1. "It's spicy" is a universal mom code for "I don't want to share."
2. Son: "Mom, can I have $20?"
Mom: "Does it look like I am made of money?"
Son: "Well, isn't that what M-O-M stands for?"
3. What kind of flowers are best for Mother's Day? Mums.
4. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's Pop-corn?
5. What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.
6. Don't wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. Your mom may be one of them.
7. Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.
8. Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor? She bit her tongue!
9. Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alleycat.
10. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!
11. Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.
12. What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.
13. Why is Mother's Day before Father's Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.
14. What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy's bed? Two children jumping on mommy's bed!
15. I asked a police recruit during an exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
He said, "Call for backup."
16. What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.
17. Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.
18. What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum.
19. I bought my mom a mug that says, "Happy Mother's Day from the World's Worst Son".
I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.
20. What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother's Day when she was about to do the dishes? "Relax mom… you can just do them in the morning."
21. What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.
22. I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
23. How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.
24. There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking:
Not enough and enough for 3,000 people.
Related: 100 Happy Mother's Day Messages
25. Mom: "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."
Son: "Maybe he has good parents then!"
26. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!
27. Mommy: "Mommy will think about it!"
Narrator: "Mommy never thought about it. She knew it was 'no' all along and just wanted everyone to STFU."
28. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like breakfast in bed, Mommy?
29. What was Cleopatra's favorite day of the year? Mummy's day.
30. Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.
31. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
32. Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, "Phew it's chocolate."
33. What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.
34. I hate when I'm waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.
35. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It's time to go to sweep!
36. Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… While daddy snores next to you.
37. Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy.
38. Boy: "My mom is having a new baby."
Girl: "What's wrong with the old one?"
39. Nothing is really lost… until mom can't find it.
40. Whoever wrote the song "Easy Like Sunday Morning" did not have kids.
41. There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream "Mom" three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.
42. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Omelet
Omelet who?
Omelet Mommy sleep in today.
43. Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?
44. Please excuse the mess. My kids are making memories. Of me yelling at them. To clean up the mess.
45. At my age I'm no longer a snack; I'm a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.
Related: Bible Verses About Moms
46. My Mom told me I'd never amount to anything because I procrastinate too much.
I said, "Oh, yeah? Just you wait."
47. A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.
48. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Llama.
Llama who?
Llama Llama, I love my mama!
49. When your mom's voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed.
50. Son: "Mom, what's a weekend?"
Mom: "I don't know, sweetheart, I haven't had one since you were born."
51. Baby snake: "Mommy, are we poisonous?"
Mommy snake: "Yes, son. Why?"
Baby snake: "I just bit my tongue!"
52. Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water — said no mom ever.
53. You know you're a mom when you understand why Mama Bear's porridge was too cold.
54. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama.
Yo mama who?
Yo mama who knows you didn't throw out the garbage like I asked you to.
55. They say women speak 20,000 words a day. I have a daughter who gets that done by breakfast.
56. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Justin!
Justin who?
Justin time to say Happy Mother's Day!
57. You know you're a mom when picking up another human to smell their butt isn't only normal, but necessary.
58. Mom's recipe for iced coffee:
Have kids.
Make coffee.
Forget you made coffee.
Put it in the microwave.
Forget you put it in the microwave.
Drink it cold.
59. Mother to son: "I'm warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to me!"
60. My housekeeping style as a mom can best be described as "there appears to have been a struggle."
61. Why was the house so neat on Mother's Day? Because Mom spent all day Saturday cleaning it.
62. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ivana.
Ivana who?
Ivana give you a kiss for Mother's Day!
63. Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.
64. My nickname is Mom. But my full name is "Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom."
65. Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
My mom's jokes,
Are funnier than you.
66. How many moms does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, obviously, and she has to do it or else it won't get done.
67. What kind of boat is barely staying afloat, yet somehow manages to function? The mother ship.
68. Kid: "What's a man?"
Dad: "A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family."
Kid: "I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!"
69. Before having kids, every mom thinks she'll be a super-chill mom.
That's because, at that point, we had no idea they'd break all our stuff, make ridiculous demands, and take roughly 10 years to get out of the car.
70. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Gladys.
Gladys who?
Gladys Mother's Day!
Related: Mother's Day Gift Ideas
71. My kids asked me what it was like to be a mom.
So, I woke them up at 3 a.m. demanding to know where my lucky sock was.
72. She believed she could, and she almost did…
But then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack and she totally lost track of what she was doing.
73. What's the fastest land mammal? A toddler who's been asked what's in their mouth.
74. Night Mom: "Tomorrow, I'm going to get up early before all of the kids, pack their lunches, go for a run, cook a healthy breakfast, and enjoy 20 minutes of silent 'me time.'"
Morning Mom: "Hahahahahaha. Nice try."
75. Motherhood: When changing from plaid flannel PJs into black yoga pants qualifies as "getting dressed."
76. I love my kids. Not enough to flip the fish sticks halfway through cooking, but I love them.
77. Son: "Mom, stop making jokes. You're not funny."
Mom: "I made you, didn't I?"
78. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bacon.
Bacon who?
Bacon brownies for Mother's Day.
79. Why don't they have Mother's Day sales? Because mothers are priceless.
80. What's the difference between Superman and Mothers? Superman's just a superhero now and then. Moms are superheroes all the time.
81. Everything you do is so mompoint.
82. What three words solve dad's every problem? Ask your mother.
83. Mom, thanks for providing me with womb and board for all of these years!
84. Yoda best mom. Love you, I do.
85. I whale always love you, mom.
86. Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist? Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.
87. A mother's sacrifice isn't giving birth. It's nine months without wine.
88. Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother's Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!
Related: Virtual Ways To Celebrate Mother's Day
89. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alec.
Alec who?
Alec to give mommy Mother's Day kisses
90. Parenting is buying a bounce house and swing set just so you can sit on the patio and drink wine in peace.
91. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
92. 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.
93. What did the digital clock say to its mother? Look, Ma! No hands!
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94. I'm going to donate these bags of clothes to Goodwill. But first, I'm going to drive around with them in my trunk for four months.
95. What do you call a mom who can't draw? Tracy.
96. Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for puddin' up with me.
97. I would write a book about parenting, but it would just be filled with rants about doing everything myself. And cocktail recipes.
98. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Al.
Al who?
Al give you a hug for Mother's Day!
99. You're a souper mom.
100. What kind of candy do moms love for Mother's Day? Her-she's Kisses.
101. Not to be cheesy, but you're a grate mom.
102. Motherhood is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.
103. Why did the boy put the Mother's Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them.
104. Son: "Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants?"
Dad: "No."
Son: "Then it's a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!"
105. There is no butter mom than you!
106. Why did the Mother's Day gift arrive the day after Mother's Day? It was chocoLATE.
107. Mom, I donut know what I'd do without you.
108. What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day? They shellabrated their mommy.
109. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Abby.
Abby who?
Abby Mother's Day!
110. Olive you, mom.
111. Where do baby Transformers come from? Opti-mom Prime.
112. What did the banana's mommy get on Mother's Day?
113. You mean a waffle lot to me, mom.
114. What was the mommy cat wearing to breakfast on Mother's Day? She was still in her paw-jamas.
115. Sunday School Teacher: "Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?"
Student: "No, ma'am. I don't have to. My mom's a good cook."
116. What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother's Day? Starbucks.
117. What kind of flowers do yellow jacket mothers like for Mother's Day? Bee-gonias.
118. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Their kids have to play inside!
119. To the woman who rosé me right.
120. Why did the mother cross the road? To get some peace and quiet!
Next, check out…
100 Inspiring Quotes About Mom
Gifts For First-Time Moms
Mother's Day Quotes For Single Moms
200 Jokes For Kids
Source: https://parade.com/1204272/michelleparkerton/mom-jokes/
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